News
Bread
reporter: Jonathan, 25.7.05
Jesse has recently posted on the negatives of coke.I thought this would then be a good time to dispell any rumours - Here's the statistical evidence that proves that bread is bad for you!
- More than 98% of convicted felons have had bread.
- 99.9 percent of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread
- 99.7 percent of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident
- 93.1 percent of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently
- Half of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
- Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
- Bread is often a "gateway" item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
12 Comments:
jono, thanks for the accurate description of the negative attributes of bread, but surely rice is a much nastier filler food, and potatoes have to be more addictive and abuse friendly due to their multiple serving styles -mashed, boiled, fried, chpped, roasted, etc?
reporter - 
carl, at 3:50 pm, July 25, 2005
It seems funny to point the finger at bread, and forget dihydrogen monoxide, which is all but required in the commercial production of bread, rice and potatoes.
Check it out
reporter - 
, at 5:48 pm, July 25, 2005
Despite Jono's assumption to the contrary, bread is not required for life.
A person deprived of bread and given only water might in fact prefer fruit and veges rather than flour and water which can also be used for making glue. I would want statistical evidence of the number of people deprived of bread and given only water who request specificaly bread before I would make a statement such as his. Verbal and written confessions to this would also be of help in forming a solid conclusion as to whether people refer bread os other when suffering depravation of food.
Also, with reference to Jesse's post, have you ever tried to disolve a nail in bread? Or to soak a car engine in bread? Not pretty. I advise you never to try it.
reporter - , at 8:08 pm, July 25, 2005
Despite Jono's assumption to the contrary, bread is not required for life.
Allan... I think the assumption has been made by you! I never implied this at all. Being addictedt to something does not make it a requirement for life.
reporter - Jonathan, at 10:00 am, July 26, 2005
Yay for people who don't eat bread!!! (like me) lol
Great stuff
Debs
reporter - , at 7:46 pm, July 26, 2005
Well done Jono. You win the Sam Duthie Funny Award for the week.
reporter - , at 11:32 pm, July 26, 2005
Nice one Jono- thanks for the laugh
reporter -
Anita, at 2:58 pm, July 25, 2005